so sad pt.2

i haven't done a blog since the instruction days, during which i described the process of being courted, touring on your own dollar, a lot and general fun things that go on in the topsy turvy world of rock-n-roll. in the past 2 years i was utterly uninspired to write anything as i felt as if i had nothing to write about. it's been a time of broken promises and false hope. music is all that matters to me. the business stuff is such a fucking chore. i do it, in fact, i'm pretty good at it, when i was allowed. the difficult thing is when you make your art and give it away to another power that be, you are at the mercy of that entity. when you fail because of others inability to do their job correctly, it is truly heartbreaking. i have been in an alcoholic depression for years but in the last two, it has escalated. fueled by the fact that i can drink at my job and make money. it's a cycle that will kill you. i'm sick of it. not to say that i'm giving up the drink, i like my lager. i am saying that being depressed is fucking boring. i work too hard. god fires man, my current band has decided to take things into their own hand. it's scary and like most bands these days, will not make a dime. but over are the days of the management not being able to do anything because the label doesn't have money and the booking agent not being able to do anything because, generally speaking they don't do anything, the management can't deliver a tour etc.. etc.. the booking agent situation is really a mind fuck. when we parted ways with our agent, we were told we weren't making any money for the agency. in reality, they had booked 2 shows in the 8 months or so they worked with us. 2! really? give me a fucking break. they wait around for the management to get a tour and then basically send a few emails out and collect 10%. you see as a general rule, the music industry is not about work, it's about the perks. i'm not even going to get into this. it's too frustrating. god fires man recently recorded our new album, "life like", on our own dollar. why? well, because we foresaw us not getting a deal anytime soon (our first record took nearly 2 years to record and release) and we needed to. we are artists and need to produce art. we were voted one of the top 10 new rock bands on the itunes music store a month ago! and we can't get a deal. even funnier is the tale of gay for johnny depp, my other band. great name, i know. it's a fucking gold mine. our last tour in the uk (the only country our records are currently available in cd form) we played a lot of packed to sold out shows. in london, we did 300 and could've done more judging from the line outside. we no longer have a label. we record our own records and finance our own tours. we sell lots and lots of merch. in the past year, we haven't been able to get a secure deal. what do we have to do? are things really that bad?? yes they are and that is why the whole world NEEDS to hear gay for johnny depp!! it's recession made. we don't have trust funds. we don't have anything! except to hand a new label a band with a $100,000 press kit. IDIOTS! i might sound like it's all just sour milk but it's not. i'm genuinely baffled. ok, i'm done for today.