a goals a goal

What's the goal? I Keep asking myself that. Back on 1990 when mind over matter started, there was no goal. Make a demo. Play some shows. It all seemed very natural. The fact that we got a record deal was a total surprise. Then, nirvana hit. Everyone around us was getting major label deals. I even met with a few about m.o.m.! Totally ridiculous, but it changed everything. Suddenly there was a goal and an actual chance of living off of music. Over the years, that goal never changed. I never felt I wrote or played the type of music that could do well on an indie level. That was probably a little misguided. I got my first taste of the major label world with walter from quicksand and I's Ill fated group, worlds fastest car. Errortype went their entire career looking for the elusive big record deal, even signing a terrible publishing deal with emi that I'm (me and only me) still bound to even though they don't know I exist. When instruction got signed to geffen I thought that I was finally on the road. Someone let me in the club and I was never leaving...haha. This isn't about my major label days, Its more about why I (we) still play. The majors are over, the playing field has been leveled. There are no advances to live off, no tours getting paid for etc. For a guy with my history, it is realy hard to see a goal. Later this year we will tour in Europe, possibly a few times...why? Yes, I love to play but just a few years ago, the monetary, work and time sacrifices had a purpose or so we thought. Someday, we would be back to doing it for a living. Now, it's just a back breaking vacation. I guess any excuse to travel is a good one. I've been doing it for years. The problem really is that I've done nothing else. No career, no back up plan. Now I'm a bartender. Makes sense. I still write like a man inspired. That will never leave me, but what about my future? What is the goal? Depressing huh? There are so many of us here in NYC. Mostly bartenders. I call it the land of broken toys. I love the idea of being able to put out your own records letting the public, not a hype machine, decide what they want to listen to. That's the ideal. It's not quite there yet. there are people out there who want to hear the records I make but I don't think the possiblity of making a living is there anymore. I'm still going to do it because I have no choice and I feel that my bands records just keep getting better. I guess my timing is what really sucks.

Enough depressing shit and onto my mid-thirties crisis. I've been getting into all my old thrash records again. From flotsam and jetsam, atrophy, devastation, holy terror, to Mekong delta, toxik and forbidden. I love it! In the late 80's, this was my favorite genre. Is this healthy? I looked back on my musical tastes over the years and I've pretty much done it all and now it's gone full circle. I'm back in high school. Maybe this is just a way to deal with the pressures of real life. Escapism at it's best. I don't know.

Speaking of reverting back, errortype 11 is reuniting for one show at mercury lounge on august 8th. Should be fun. It's gonna have all sorts of surprises.
It was not my idea. Reunions are not my thing but phil. And especially Adam want to so I agreed. Thing is I don't drink before I play anymore. That was such a huge part of the show. I guess I can have a few...haha.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

the fall out from fall out boy

i know this has nothing to do with anything to do with the dark, long nights behind the bar or the semi-drunken dirty rock that represents my current lifestyle but i was aghast when i discovered the most inane, out of date, trite band i have ever had the displeasure to hear in....well it hasn't been that long.  they are called you me at six.  i was initially interested because they are from surrey, a surrogate home for me in the UK from a few years back.  being from long island, i understand surrey bands, you either get greatness spawned from the basements and garages of suburbia (and quickly move to london) or you get total and utter generic crap.  there's no in between.  i think my shock came from the fact that epitaph would sign this.  i know why, their manager is the guy who brought the world bullet for me valentine, gallows and bring me the horizon to name a few, but that is no excuse.  it's just old fall out boy with no personality.  picture that!! 

 i know, this is so out of my realm i shouldn't care but if this represents any music scene in the UK, it makes me sad.  get out of the ice age.  maybe shitty american bands need to be officially banned from great britain.  except in scotland where they always seem to do something interesting when turning their influences back  on the world.    

the other night i was watching a local show called new york noise.  it's always good to upset me with some hipster bullshit like animal collective or something but i saw two videos that astounded me.  the first was by a two piece (how original) called no age.  it wasn't so much as it sounding like a sonic youth b-side i.e. waste of precious time, but the fact that sub pop put it out.  their bio says things like "pop songs done as performance art" or "experimentation", you know that means?  you might write ok songs but you make them sound like shit so pitchfork will like you.   i'm sorry.  it's crap and they will probably stop playing music, like so many others, when they get into grad school. 

 another band i saw was titus andronicus,  whose song was such an awful rip off of the clashes "white riot" (check out the "titus andronicus" chord progression).   they were listed as being on xl recordings.  whaaaaat?  i'm so over it.  indie labels are trying to stay a float?  well, not hard enough.   i'm all for bands struggling with just being a band these days.  i support anyone but please just write a fucking decent song.  just don't put some old crap together, record it lo-fi to make it cool.  i'd say i'm sorry for being a jealous, shitty, typical NY musician but no one read this blog so who cares.  

 i hate capital letters.  

i really don't care.  i need to get in the shower and get to bowling....

hyper-connected?

do any of us really need to be hyper-connected?  twitter thinks we do.  i'm having a hard time figuring out the difference between twitter and facebook "updates".  i did the update thing for a while and still realize the importance of it for promoting shows but for everything else it is utterly ridiculous.  everyone is just up in each others shit.  no one needs to divulge so much information.  i enjoy getting in contact with people from my past and seeing that they are doing ok.  that's all really cool but i don't need to know everything their kid does or worse yet what they are eating for dinner etc.  it's just self absorbed bullshit.  then again, so is blogging.    

 i got the new U2 tonight around 11pm.  it's great.  a real return to form.  the itunes deluxe edition extras are great as well.  an hour long movie?  sweet.  

i'm getting excited about the new god fires man record.  we have been working on the layout, which always makes it more of a reality.  this one's coming out on vinyl.  i haven't had a  vinyl release since the mid-90's.   i just can't wait to get back over to europe.  it's been too long.  

alright, i should at least attempt to go to sleep.  i have to go to the dmv tomorrow to take my former van off the road so i can cancel the insurance.  what a pain.  

fieldy autobiography

ummm, so fieldy, the bass player from korn wrote an autobiography.  no, i'm not kidding.  i read about it on the internet, it must be true.  it's titled something about addiction and faith etc... 

regardless, i felt as if i should share some stories you won't read in this sure to be masterpiece about mr. fieldy.  or maybe you will.  or maybe you would never read this book ever in a million years.  i'm sure its the latter.  regardless, i thought it would be fun.  

my last band, instruction, spent some time on the road with korn.  generally it was a great experience.  we were treated very well.  we ate, we drank and we kicked major ass as much as we could playing for a rather hostile crowd in arena's with no light show and traveling 12-16 hours a day in the van.  backstage was always interesting.  i want to state for the record, jonathan and munki were very nice and accommodating.  we really didn't interact with the rest of the band, except fieldy.  well, sort of.  when we were on project revolution a few months earlier, we heard a great story from one of the members of the used about their evening on fieldy's bus. apparently he had korn live playing on each of his plasma screen tv's and his very own solo record playing over the stereo....hmmmm.  i tried to imagine myself doing such a thing but couldn't fathom it.  i wouldn't even do it in private.  maybe he really likes what he does?  maybe i should envy him? 

fast forward a few months and here we are out with korn again.  as i remember this story, i was walking backstage in one of the many hockey arena's we played and fieldy was walking towards me.  as i approached, he turned, faced the wall and waited till i walked by before continuing down the hall.  now, if we hadn't witnessed other peripheral acts of douchiness, i would've written this off as hazing the opening bands but i doubt very highly he had a clue who the opening bands were, let alone knowing them by sight individually.  this one stuck in my mind, as he did it to other members of our crew.  i get being rockstar.  i get it.  he is rich, famous and way more successful than i could ever imagine being but this was just weird.  this is why i would actually go out and read that autobiography.  maybe he'll talk about how he developed his revolutionary bass sound.  :)

listen to phil collins "hello, i must be going" and "face value".  get over it!!  they are great records!  

the right wing and u2

So, this is my first blog from my iPhone so it might be a disaster.

I finally heard the U2 album and I'm in total agreement with the reviews I have read. It's amazing, I haven't gotten into the lyrics yet as they took it off myspace after a day but musically I'm impressed. I'm kind of a big fan. Not of the last few records, those just seemed to be aimed at their aging fanbase as opposed to being timeless. With the exception of a few good singles, I was unimpressed and it felt like Bono wasn't trying anymore with his lyrics (except that song about his dad "sometimes you can't make it on your own"?). To their credit, they are old and don't have to write culturally significant records anymore, but the thing is, they are still trying to and I'm all for it. To me "Joshua tree" sets the bar for evoking emotions from a hugely popular record. Name a record since that has been that huge and that important at the same time. Dont say radiohead, they dont sell U2 numbers. Sure every record we love effects us but how many are huge pop successes. Very few. I was a metal head when that record came out and I couldn't deny it, no one could. It's timeless. My point? I like the new U2, it seems like a special and much needed record.

I saw a preview of the new alexandra pelosi hbo doc called "right wing:feeling wronged", i think. It's about the people who voted for McCain and how they felt and still feel. When I was touring America for years on end I ran into a lot of these type of people, bible thumping, amercia loving bushey's who think the left would like to see America taken over by terrorists, (even though we here in NYC are the only ones who have dealt with the foreign terrorists). These people are America. Not NYC, not LA. I except their difference in opinion as just that. Geography in America plays a huge part in ones views. Thing is, they never accepted my opinion. I was pretty much shit to these people (mostly because of my rational religious views). That always bothered me. Enter this documentary. Again, I've only seen a preview and the first 10 minutes on YouTube, but WTF? Obama is a Muslim? A terrorist? He said so??Really? In this day and age? They have the Internet at truck stops! What gives? They only check the white power sites? Can NYC just seceed from the union because this is so sad. I'm gonna withhold further judgement until I see the whole thing on weds.

Till then listen to Torche's "meanderthal". It's amazing.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

i slept all evening...

now i won't get to bed till 5am so guess what i'm doing?  you guessed it, watching "law and order :criminal intent".  it's my favorite one with vincent d'onofrio (sp?).   i'm only writing this blog to try to ignore it.  i slept through the oscars.  i hate those shows, especially during such a difficult time for the country.  watching these people kiss each others asses is sickening. i'm glad "slumdog" won, it's a great film. i will say, the parts i did catch seemed better than the grammy's which were awful, minus radiohead who were amazing.  

on a much more exciting note, the new morrissey album "years of refusal" is pretty awesome.  it's still a morrissey record, over the top, melancholy and sometimes silly, but it's also very rocking.  i'm impressed.  i recently heard the new U2 is a winner as well.  i couldn't find the leak online but enough people got it to get some feedback and it's all good.  not that i was holding my breath for it.  i really don't care but they are usually good for a great single or two.  i feel the same way about them that i do coldplay, if it's going to be all over the place, i'd rather it be them over much of the silliness the major's try to sell these days.  especially the awful, autotune computer voice hip hop  (read: lil wayne).  

i thought i had something more exciting to write about but i guess not.  i'm in a good mood which is terrible for my ranting.  

so sad pt.2

i haven't done a blog since the instruction days, during which i described the process of being courted, touring on your own dollar, a lot and general fun things that go on in the topsy turvy world of rock-n-roll. in the past 2 years i was utterly uninspired to write anything as i felt as if i had nothing to write about. it's been a time of broken promises and false hope. music is all that matters to me. the business stuff is such a fucking chore. i do it, in fact, i'm pretty good at it, when i was allowed. the difficult thing is when you make your art and give it away to another power that be, you are at the mercy of that entity. when you fail because of others inability to do their job correctly, it is truly heartbreaking. i have been in an alcoholic depression for years but in the last two, it has escalated. fueled by the fact that i can drink at my job and make money. it's a cycle that will kill you. i'm sick of it. not to say that i'm giving up the drink, i like my lager. i am saying that being depressed is fucking boring. i work too hard. god fires man, my current band has decided to take things into their own hand. it's scary and like most bands these days, will not make a dime. but over are the days of the management not being able to do anything because the label doesn't have money and the booking agent not being able to do anything because, generally speaking they don't do anything, the management can't deliver a tour etc.. etc.. the booking agent situation is really a mind fuck. when we parted ways with our agent, we were told we weren't making any money for the agency. in reality, they had booked 2 shows in the 8 months or so they worked with us. 2! really? give me a fucking break. they wait around for the management to get a tour and then basically send a few emails out and collect 10%. you see as a general rule, the music industry is not about work, it's about the perks. i'm not even going to get into this. it's too frustrating. god fires man recently recorded our new album, "life like", on our own dollar. why? well, because we foresaw us not getting a deal anytime soon (our first record took nearly 2 years to record and release) and we needed to. we are artists and need to produce art. we were voted one of the top 10 new rock bands on the itunes music store a month ago! and we can't get a deal. even funnier is the tale of gay for johnny depp, my other band. great name, i know. it's a fucking gold mine. our last tour in the uk (the only country our records are currently available in cd form) we played a lot of packed to sold out shows. in london, we did 300 and could've done more judging from the line outside. we no longer have a label. we record our own records and finance our own tours. we sell lots and lots of merch. in the past year, we haven't been able to get a secure deal. what do we have to do? are things really that bad?? yes they are and that is why the whole world NEEDS to hear gay for johnny depp!! it's recession made. we don't have trust funds. we don't have anything! except to hand a new label a band with a $100,000 press kit. IDIOTS! i might sound like it's all just sour milk but it's not. i'm genuinely baffled. ok, i'm done for today.